You Might Be An Infertile If…

If somebody has ever asked you the date, and you said Day 14.
If you have ever counted 1, 2, 3 after sex, and thrown your ankles above your head for an absurd amount of time.
If you forget that the entire world doesn’t know what an HSG is.
If it has ever felt strange to not take your clothes off at a doctors appointment.
If you circle the days you have sex on your planner.
If your must see TV consists of seeing your internal organs on a plasma.
If you reach into your fridge and instead of getting milk you accidentally grab a hand full of needles, injection pens, or vials.
If you’ve put your feet in stirrups more times than you’ve had sex in a week.
If you’ve ever played the “I’ll be pregnant by then” game for longer than a year.
If you’ve ever been caught staring longingly at a pregnant woman’s belly.
If you have ever had to leave an event because it is a non negotiable nookie night.
If you’ve ever shot up in a bathroom stall and it was perfectly legal.
If you feel like you are constantly speaking in acronyms that nobody seems to understand.
If you find it perfectly normal to pee on a stick, insert it into a machine, and wait to be told if your husband is definitely going to get lucky that night.
If you have ever banned a sexual position and lubricant because it isn’t beneficial to baby making.
If you have seen your doctor, shrink, and acupuncturist more than your girlfriends lately.
If you know more about your reproductive organs and the female body than all of your girlfriends combined.
If getting pregnant doesn’t technically need to involve sex.
If you have ever been placed on birth control to achieve pregnancy.
If you have put out more money for medications than vacations in the past year.
If you measure your life in two week increments. If you avoid alcohol, smoking, hot baths, hot tubs, saunas, and caffeine.
You glare at parents who don’t truly appreciate their children, and scowl at the ones who complain.
You literally laugh at people who ask when you are going to have children.
With the money you’ve paid for fertility treatments you could have bought yourself a summer home in Fiji.
If you find it a miracle that people actually mangage to get pregnant.
If you completely understand that just because you are pregnant doesn’t mean you will stay that way.
If you have a degree from Google Med and an advanced degree from WebMD.
If you refer to events in DPOs.
You have ever seriously considering punching somebody for telling you to relax, and would feel completely justified in doing so.
You have a stockpile of pregnancy tests from the dollar store, so you don’t feel guilty for wasting the more expensive ones.
If you could swear that anybody standing within a hundred feet could actually hear your biological clock ticking.
If you’ve ever considered hugging a pregnant woman just so a little bit of that *something* would rub off on you.
If you’ve ever been thankful for having a fat roll, as it makes injections more comfortable.