IVF here we come!!

Wow it has been a while!! I am such a bad blogger – Please forgive me!! I have a lot of catching up to do!

I had my first IVF visit this past Monday and we are all set for take off. I had a sono and blood work and every looked good. I am set for a trial transfer on Thursday then they will tell me when to start the shots. It is looking like the actual procedure will be some time in the middle of June.

I had to break the news to Matt that he has to get blood work done and another “swimmers” analysis before we can do IVF. When I told him he FREAKED OUT!!! Here was his reaction,

“Oh no, nnnn-no-no-no! I can’t give blood. I am terrified of needles and I might pass out! Babe is there any way you can call them and tell them I can’t do it?”

Here was my reaction,

“Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME???? I have been giving myself TONS of shots every night in the stomach, having blood work taken at least once a week and being probed and prodded with the sono wand daily and you are freaking about giving blood one time!!! ONE TIME! JUST ONE TIME!!”

Oh MEN!

I guess I will have to bribe him with BIG RED and REESE’S PIECES.

I've been faking excitement over the beginning of the cycle, because to me it really feels like I'm on my tippie toes at the edge of a cliff and when I take that first shot of Lupron, I take the big leap. The big leap being IVF, and IVF being OUR LAST CHANCE.

When I first wandered into the world of infertility, I used to surf blogs and message boards trying to find people in worse situations that me. I would read the Trouble TTC board on the Nest and see signatures with "TTC 24 months, TTC 36 months" and think, "Wow, I'm glad that's not me."

Now that it's me, I feel an intense amount of pressure. Pressure to do this cycle while working and helping Matt with all his band projects. Pressure to be a mother. Pressure to provide my husband with a biological child that we could not have without science. Pressure to give my mom a grandchild because I am an only child. Pressure to make this life that I want to happen, happen.

Back in the beginning, I felt like there was a long line between myself and IVF. Temping, then OPK's with Temping, then Clomid with IUI cycles, then IUI with injectibles for a few cycles, then if “H-E-double L” froze over, IVF.

It's awfully cold here in “H-E-double L”.

Sorry I’m not very good at cussing so I have to spell things out.