Our 4th of July was on Fire!!!

We had family and friends over this year for 4th and it ended up being quite an exciting night. Our neighborhood always goes crazy with the fireworks which is great for us cause we get a free show and we don't have to leave the front yard! The guys also had a great time putting on their own show for us which I have to admit was pretty impressive. Well the guys where interrupted when someone smelled smoke and when we looked across the street we saw a HUGE fire! Ahhhhhh! I immediately ran in the house and called 911. Then as I was feeling like the hero of the neighborhood we all ventured over to see the damage. As the FIVE (yes 5) Fire trucks pulled up we realized that it was just a grass fire in their backyard and the first firemen put it out pretty quickly by them self. Oh-and the homeowners could care less about their house, all they kept saying was "heck it's insured for 250,000 - let it burn!" while they gave out margaritas to everyone. Ha-Ha gotta love the neighbors!

Here is a picture of the fire... This was as close as I was willing to get!

Miss Carly Jo with some crazy hair!

The boys planning the show.

Eathen enjoying a sparkler

The fireworks where hurting Eathen's ears so I brought him out some "magic" earphones. They worked like a charm!

I love this picture

Momma Jan & Pops relaxin'

Happy Birthday Big Boy!

Big Boy's wife threw him a surprise pool party for his birthday and I think he was actually surprised! We had a blast at the party even though we where to bashful to get into our swimsuits and jump in. Little David is getting so big and so stinkin' cute that I just wanted to eat him up! Yes, I am now obsessed with taking pictures of other peoples kids. Hey I have to post pictures of something and until the stork delivers us our own lil' tike I will be stalking all of yours like the crazy paparazzi that I have become.

Big Fat Negative

Well folks, put your pom-poms away. It ain't happening any time soon.

I've really been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am to have Matt. I have someone that I really love and who really loves me. This infertility thing frustrates me because I feel like I've been spending the past year trying to get pregnant and it puts this cloud over everything else and I don't want the cloud. There always seems to be something else, if I just have this then I'll be happy. And I am happy but there's that one more thing that I can't have. If I get pregnant and have a baby will there be a new thing, what's the next thing? Will I finally be able to just exhale and enjoy my life. I want to enjoy my life now and I wish I could explain how the cycle of fertility makes that so difficult. In the day to day I'm happy and grateful but the big picture there's only the current cycle and this long chain of cycles in my wake.

I'm on my period - god hates me, this feels like death (depression)
I'm one week from ovulation - I can do this! This can really happen! (amazing joyful optimism)
I'm ovulating - Did we do it enough, do IUI on the right day, etc (total questioning doing the right thing)
I'm in the 2 week wait - what the heck is making this time go so freaking slow, should I exercise more, or less, is gardening okay, oh god I touched dirt, kitty litter, sushi, tuna fish, peanut butter, I have a headache and need aspirin, but if I do I'm killing my baby!!!!!! (eggshells and obsession about everything I do)
Sneaking pregnancy tests - that's okay it's still early, that's okay it's still early, that's okay it's still early, that's okay it's still early (psycho)
I'm on my period - god hates me, this feels like death (depression)

Sooooo… We are on a break! That’s right! I told all my Fertility meds and Docs that I need my space. I’m sure they will truly miss me while I’m gone but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do! For the next three months I will be solely dedicated to getting back into my skinny jeans! Since getting off Birth Control a little over a year ago I have gained almost 30 lbs!!!! Holy Cow fat girl! I can’t fit into any of my clothes and there is no way I will even think about going near a swimsuit! So wish me luck in my new journey to lose the cub!

Me? I'm PUPO!

PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

Me = PUPO

We did our first IUI this past Friday. It was pretty painless other then the waiting and waiting and waiting!!! The Doctor had to come all the way from the Arlington Clinic (ours is in Las Colinas) and I guess he got stuck in traffic or something because Matt and I were both stuck in the exam room for over an hour. Just imagine sitting there on the little exam table with your little sheet to cover up with while your not so patient Husband sits next to you holding a test tube full of his little soldiers. Yes, the nurse gave Matt the oh-so important job of keeping the little guys (or girls!) warm. This was a task that he took very seriously! So while we were waiting we had plenty of time to drive or selves’ nuts with lots of crazy thoughts like…How sure are we that they didn’t mix up the test tubes?? Well the doctor FINALLY got there and every thing went really well. Matt was sooooo… excited to find out that his sperm count was a whopping 42 million that he couldn’t wait to call everyone he knows to brag!

The worst part was after the procedure when the doctor tilted the exam chair backwards so that we could “let gravity do its work” This is not a good position to be in while your Husband has full access to all the controls of the chair. I was laying there like a good little infertile girl trying my hardest to keep all the little soldiers in while Matt was having the best time playing with the controls moving me up and down. Just as I was starting to worry that all of the sperm will be so dizzy that they will never find their way to the egg I was saved by the nurse!

So now we wait. Its two weeks from Friday that we can officially take a test. I myself have no self control so I know I will not make it that long before I have a POS (Pee on a Stick) break down.

Who Shot My Stork???

Did you know that the progress of a pregnancy is calculated from the date of your last menstrual period? So, when you find out that you're pregnant, you are probably already at least 4 weeks along.

Before I started trying to get pregnant, I had no idea that you could literally only get pregnant on a handful of days each month. I don't know about you, but I was under the impression that Matt and I could let God know that we are ready then he would send the stork to fly over our house at any moment, and POOF! A BAY-BEE! And if I didn't want to get pregnant? Well, I better not so much as spoon, because it could happen by accident! Through the fabric if I wasn't careful!

So it should come as no surprise that, even before the big official O-day is here, I know exactly what my due date could be if in fact the stork does indeed fly over my house this month and POOF! BAY-BEE. In my perfect case scenario, with cycle day 1 (first day of last period) being May 9th...I could be 10 days pregnant today. That would also make my due date February 15, 2009 just incase you where wondering…

Do you think that explains why I HAD TO HAVE ice-cream last night? I totally think it's a symptom of my 10 day old possible pregnancy.

I always feel like I shouldn't, but I can't resist! I need to know when I'll be due if I get pregnant in a given month! I must know when I will hear the heartbeat, or when we'd find out the sex (and can commence shopping), or when I could maybe start maternity leave...and I have to admit, sometimes I stare at the calendar and count my cycle days over and over, like some sort of infertility Rain Man. Yes I am a crazy person!

Miss Lacy...

Matt and I are so desperate for a little one of our own so we kidnapped one!!! Well, really just borrowed one for the day while her parents celebrated their Aniversery. This is Miss Lacy and she went to the Fort Worth Zoo with Matt & I the other day. We had such a good time with her but I do think that Matt had the most fun!

Doctor Doctor Give Me the News...

Good News!! My Ovaries a back to normal, well normal for me. I start back on the shots tomarrow. The Doc also gave me a new perscrption to add to the growing lis of meds. It is called Dexamethason and here is the info I found about it...

Dexamethasone is a steroid that is often use as an adjunct to ovulation induction treatment, especially in patients with hirsutism who have high levels of androgens. It helps by suppressing the production of androgens by the adrenal glands. Some IVF clinics also use steroids after embryo transfer, because they believe this helps to improve pregnancy rates by inducing immune suppression and enhancing embryo implantation rates.

Wa-What??? Well I'm not really sure what all that means, but hopefully it is the missing link to making our baby!